You Dont Understand . . . and thats OK

Heck we don't understand either! And frankly we are happy you don't, we wouldn't wish Infertility on our worst enemy. That being said,I think we could all do ourselves a favor and accept that unless you are in my shoes, you just don't understand. 

But just because you don't understand first hand what we are going through or know how to "deal" with someone facing infertility your support and sensitivity can mean the world to us. A kind word, a hug, a note of encouragement can brighten the darkest day. The only way to begin to understand is to ask questions and seek advice and information. .  . and usually the person you're trying to help will not be the one to go to for these answers. We are simply trying to hold ourselves together and some times we want to be an advocate and educate you on our mental, emotional and medical state and some times. . . we don't.

Thankfully there are so many resources that should you really want to help us I encourage you to read up on. Here are a few of my favorites that might help you better understand

10 Ways to Help Support Friends Dealing with Infertility

The Disgrace of Infertility

9 Things Every Infertile Wants Women with Children to Know

10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Support Someone with Infertility

Book Review : Hannah's Hope

I've always found solace in books and as we walk this journey through infertility I find books to once again being comfort and prospective when I am in need. I've searched high and low to find books on infertility. Being that it is such a taboo topic, usually not talked about and often suffered in silence, the choices are pretty slim. Hannah's Hope was my first find and hands down the most referred book by those daily fighting this battle.

Once I started readying I knew right away why so many loved this book. Each chapter, sentence and word is pure healing. Mixing the stories of Hannah from 1 Samuel and her own Jennifer Saake gives insights into the feelings and pain of infertility all while reminding us of the source of Hope we have in Christ. I know I cant do it justice but I would sum it up as a book that recognizes the pain of the moment while embracing the hope of our future.

 It touches on so many topics. A few of my favorites were

1. Our emotional state - Bitterness, Envy, Anguish, Grief (pg 46 "God knows this grief personally. He has gone to greater measures to make you his child than you will ever go in the pursuit of growing your own family")
2. Our Faith- (pg 126 " The more I study the more I am convinced that when God wills, He moves, even when my faith is shaky. If I offer to him the faith I have with the attitude of 'I do believe; help my unbelief' (Mark 9:24) He does the rest")
3. Infertility & the church  (pg 137 "Unfortunately, its likely that there is at least one hurting family longing for a child, sitting in each church every Sunday")
4. How others can help us.Each chapter as a "Burden bearers" section with insight for friends and family on how to help and pray for us

My favorite chapter is 15. Worshiping While Waiting when hard times hit I go back to this chapter to reread the truth contained to help me along the way. On page 76 she states " Learning to worship through the wait was not a one-time event, but an on going process." Oh how true, its a daily process.

Over all a great read not only for those who are personally walking this road but also for those who want to help someone who is. I highly recommend picking up a copy for yourself and a copy to give as a gift to any one your know suffering trough the heart break  of infertility.