Thanksgiving the time of year we list off all our blessings, luxuries and loved ones that make our lives so full of meaning.
Have you ever had an UN-thankful Thanksgiving? Well that's how I've been feeling. Not exactly un-thankful and that leads me to second guess this post as I am not even sure what exactly I am feeling.
This year has officially been the hardest of my 30 years! Between our fertility struggles( including failed IUI, IVF, 2 Failed Frozen transfers) To mt mother fighting Breast and cervical cancer, My FIL's battle with heart disease. My supervisors Son being in a horrific car accident that left him with 4th degree burns over 30-40% of his body. I've never been more aware of how precious and fragile life is both to create and to keep.
I know I should be thankful for a coat on my back and food in my belly but its hard to see those then these big things are clouding my vision. With every Facebook post or round the table thankful declaration my heart struggles with finding the balance of being real with out bringing the gray could to a festive event.
What I am thankful for is GRIEF and that GOD allows us to feel and process pain. That He dosent require us to put a band aide on it and keep going, to get up dress up and show up with a smile. He is there in our darkest hour allowing us to HURT with HOPE. We can grieve a lost dream but know that He has the ability to give new ones. We can grieve lost loved ones but know that we will one day be reunited. We can grieve health but know that He can heal and give the strength to keep going.
It may not be the traditional answer but there really is always SOMETHING to be thankful for!